


Commander Lock has joined the chat

by lumateranlibrarian



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Jedi Shmi Skywalker, Jedi!Shmi AU, Lock deserves nice things, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars, chat fic, instead he got Squad Shebs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29209419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumateranlibrarian/pseuds/lumateranlibrarian
Summary: A fusion between the Soft Wars universe by Project0506 and the Jedi!Shmi AU by Mirandatam.In which Rex adopts a commander, and Lock is introduced to his similarly-ranked brothers. Sometimes recovery is time and distance. Sometimes recovery is the Shebse you meet along the way.
Comments: 27
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I have nothing I can give](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7913605) by [MirandaTam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirandaTam/pseuds/MirandaTam). 



_Priority Alert_

Rex: Attention Shebse and Associates

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: We’re welcoming Commander Lock to the chat

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: Play nice or I’ll sic Skywalker Prime on you

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: I thought you grew out of violence for violence’s sake, Rex’ika

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: Something you wanna get off your chest, vod’ika?

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: Lock’s commander of the 144th

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: formerly Pong Krell’s battalion

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: Now my general’s buir is running things

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: Thank the fucking Force

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: … understood

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: fuck I heard about that from my general

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: good on Buir Skywalker

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: This is a priority channel, not a karking knitters circle. Stop gossiping. Rex, bring Lock in so we can introduce ourselves

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: And get off priority

[Cody has turned off Priority Alert]

[Rex has turned on Priority Alert]

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: We Are Being Welcoming, Cody

[Rex has invited CC-4142 to the chat]

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: Cody what the fuck

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: Knitting is a legitimate recreational activity

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: yeah but you don’t do it in the chat

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Damn it Rex

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: is it bully Wolffe hours

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: I’m game

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: you meiloorun but you can’t meiloohide, assholes

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: … anyways, Lock, welcome to the Command Chat

[CC-4142 has changed his name to Lock]

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Commander Lock reporting for duty.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Is there an emergency?

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: No. This is how they say hello.

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: Hey Lock! Don’t worry about rank here.

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: There are no adults in this chat anyways

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: WOW

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: WOW

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: No, he’s right

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: unfortunately

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: I hate all of you

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: Lock you’re on thin fucking ice but the rest of you fuckers I would murder on sight

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: Don’t mind him, Lock, that’s how he says hello!

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: I gathered.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Is command chat always like this?

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: unfortunately

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: W O W

  
  
  
  
  


_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Lock

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Commander Cody

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: Ponds!

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Shut up Ponds, this is important

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Lock

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: How the  _ fuck _ did you get Buir Skywalker to wear armor

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: She wears armor? How???

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: HOLY SHIT LOCK TEACH US YOUR WAYS

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: AAYLA DOESN’T WEAR ARMOR SHE WEARS LIKE SHORTS AND A CROP TOP I’M SO STRESSED ALL THE TIME

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: General Ad Skywalker was impressed for all of two minutes before he started harassing me

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: where’s my painted armor huh Rex? Don’t the men love me Rex?

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: this is what I deal with, gentlemen

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: It wasn’t my idea.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: I may have unofficially signed off on it, however.

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Spill the karking beans, vod

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: I’ve been trying to get Kenobi to wear a goddamned chestplate since the start of the war

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: I second Cody’s motion, everybody shut up

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: General Shmi Skywalker took a blaster bolt to the shoulder two engagements ago, while we were stationed on Ryloth. 

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Despite the fact that she is closely guarded by the Majors Slick and Rano while on the field.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: And the fact that she has a lightsaber.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: She spent some time in medbay post-engagement, during which the Majors quietly requisitioned a custom-sized set of duraplast armor.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Accurately anticipating resistance from General Shmi Skywalker, they then met with the legion captains to identify brothers with distinct artistic ability, and I quote, “whoever can pull off the best baby tooka eyes”.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: A trooper was identified to paint an intricate armor design that they felt would appeal to the General.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: The armor is currently being introduced to her piece by piece, with a different artist and presenter for each item so as to avoid undue suspicion. So far, we’ve accomplished both shoulder bells and the left bracer. It is being framed as a gift of welcome, respectful camaraderie, and admiration.

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: that

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: Lock that is devious

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: I can’t believe we never thought of that

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: that’s fucking genius

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: wow

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: yeah okay priority alert was the right call here this is going down in the manual

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: I would prefer this not be added to the regs.

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: I just read a fucking masterpiece

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: oh wait Lock he’s not talking about the regs, he’s talking about the Unofficial Jedi Manual

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: Cody’s been writing it since he got assigned to Kenobi

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: Basically a how-to manual for wrangling your Jedi

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Oh.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Can I have a copy?

  
  
  
  
  
  


[Rex has privately messaged Lock]

Rex: Hey vod

Rex: In all seriousness we’re all glad you let Command in on the armor thing

Rex: Lots of us have generals who run into blaster fire first and ask questions later it’s fucking stressful

Rex: Have you  _ seen _ what Tano wears?

Lock: I understand the feeling.

Lock: I’m glad it helped, and I hope they’re successful in guilting their generals into proper safety practices.

Rex: Like wearing literally any protective gear?

Lock: Essentially.

  
  
  
  
  
  


[Cody has privately messaged Lock]

[Cody has sent Lock an attachment]

Lock: Thank you

Lock: Is this restricted to Command access only?

Cody: Not technically, but I don’t think any of the Jedi know about it. I’d like to keep it that way for the time being

Cody: Avoid stepping on any Force-sensitive toes. Or giving General Kenobi the satisfaction of knowing what he’s driven me to.

Cody: So if you’re going to forward it, just send it to vod who can keep their mouths shut.

Lock: Understood.

  
  
  
  
  


[Lock has privately messaged Slick]

[Lock has sent Slick an attachment]

Lock: Peruse this. It might be helpful.

Slick: Lock where the fuck did you find this

Lock: That’s classified.

Slick: Whatever you say

Slick: Holy shit, page 29

Slick: Little gods this is amazing

Slick: And useful, thanks vod

Lock: Of course. General Skywalker is a good one. Let’s keep her around.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Priority Alert _

Lock: I have a question for Command.

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: Shoot, brother

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Thank you. We are currently entering our third week of the siege on Paxel V. I’ve just seen General Shmi Skywalker eat a beetle.

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: I KNEW HE GOT IT FROM SOMEWHERE

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: I FUKCING KNWE IT

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: She’s offered several to the men. We are extremely alarmed. What’s the best way to extricate ourselves from the situation?

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: F in the chat for Lock

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: F

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: f

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: F for fuck all y’all

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Shut up Fox

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: Also

[Cody has turned off Priority Alert]

_ General Alert _

Cody: f

_ General Alert _

Rex: Lock. Vod. 

_ General Alert _

Rex: You look her in the eye and say

_ General Alert _

Rex: General I am not eating that

_ General Alert _

Rex: And you walk away

_ General Alert _

Lock: That seems rude.

_ General Alert _

Lock: Captain, you don’t understand. She picked it up off the ground, blew the dust off, shined it on her sleeve, and then popped it in her mouth like it was a pretzel.

_ General Alert _

Lock: I’ve seen this woman take on a raging Krell, why is this the most intimidating thing I’ve seen her do?

_ General Alert _

Lock: She held eye contact and was smiling the entire time. Why was she smiling?

_ General Alert _

Fox: I don’t usually say this, but uh

_ General Alert _

Fox: You okay, brother?

_ General Alert _

Lock: Apologies. It’s been a long three weeks.

_ General Alert _

Rex: my general does it too

_ General Alert _

Rex: I’ve seen Commander Tano bite a rat

_ General Alert _

Lock: What the fuck

_ General Alert _

Rex: You gotta draw a line in the sand vod

_ General Alert _

Rex: You gotta ask yourself

_ General Alert _

Rex: What am I willing to put up with today?

_ General Alert _

Rex: Not Fucking This

_ General Alert _

Lock: That’s very nice, but none of you are being helpful.

_ General Alert _

Fox: Hello, Lock, welcome to the exclusive Command Chat

_ General Alert _

Lock: … thanks.

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: f

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Commander Lock learns to roast, and becomes one with the chat. Remember the early days? Yeah, I don’t really miss them, either.

_General Alert_

Lock: General Shmi Skywalker has been encouraging the men to engage in recreational activities during their off-duty hours. This includes engagement in the arts.

_General Alert_

Lock: She directed some of the men towards classical literature, including Sergeant Siolo. He’s taken to quoting. For example:

_General Alert_

Lock: It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Skywalker, in possession of any ambulatory ability, must be in the process of getting into trouble without adequate backup.

_General Alert_

Rex: I can unhappily verify

_General Alert_

Fox: Fuck you guys. I already have to translate this chat from bullshit to sensible

_General Alert_

Fox: which is no mean fucking feat, thank you

_General Alert_

Fox: Now i have to translate this flower-fucked trash heap?

_General Alert_

Ponds: it’s ok vod i got you

_General Alert_

Fox: NO

_General Alert_

Ponds: translation - if they can skywalk, they can skyget into skytrouble

_General Alert_

Fox: NO

_General Alert_

Rex: You don’t understand

_General Alert_

Rex: Skywalkers are wild on their own

_General Alert_

Rex: Put them in the same room together and it fucking exponentiates

_General Alert_

Lock: Exponentiates. Accurate.

_General Alert_

Bly: … are you guys okay

_General Alert_

Lock: … what of the above statements indicates anything other than okay

_General Alert_

Wolffe: wow lock you’re feeling bitchy today

_General Alert_

Lock: Rude.

_General Alert_

Rex: Lock is the only one who understands me.

_General Alert_

Cody: It’s true

_General Alert_

Cody: Both that and the trouble thing

_General Alert_

Rex: hey like Kenobi’s any better

_General Alert_

Cody: watch it, vod

_General Alert_

Rex: i’m not scared of you and Buir Skywalker’s not scared of Kenobi

_General Alert_

Cody: and the kid?

_General Alert_

Rex: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_General Alert_

Doom: don’t you all have battles to be fighting?

_General Alert_

Lock: Not until Major Slick finishes his lecture. Major Rano is contributing enthusiastic nods at appropriate intervals.

_General Alert_

Bly: and you’re doing what exactly?

_General Alert_

Lock: Pretending to be a neutral party.

_General Alert_

Cody: so whose side are you really on?

_General Alert_

Lock: The general’s side, of course.

_General Alert_

Rex: …

_General Alert_

Ponds: …

_General Alert_

Cody: …

_General Alert_

Bly: ...

_General Alert_

Lock: Her safety on the field is paramount.

_General Alert_

Wolffe: this CC is a bitch and i like him SO MUCH

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: So

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: Lock

_ General Alert _

Lock: I’m not sure I like where this is going.

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: Rano and Slick. What’s the deal.

_ General Alert _

Lock: Not you too.

_ General Alert _

Bly: OwO whats this?

_ General Alert _

Ponds: BLY

_ General Alert _

Cody: FUCKDAMMIT BLY

_ General Alert _

Rex: it’s a fair question Lock

_ General Alert _

Rex: we’ve all seen it

_ General Alert _

Rex: well okay me and Cody have

_ General Alert _

Cody: do not bring me into this

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: Lock, even General Buir asked me about it

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: fuck i meant buir plo

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: general koon

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: fuck

_ General Alert _

Ponds: you are fooling a grand total of not a single fucking person, Wolffe’ika

_ General Alert _

Ponds: so? vod? details? anyone?

_ General Alert _

Lock: No

_ General Alert _

Lock: There is nothing there.

_ General Alert _

Wolffe: ....

_ General Alert _

Lock: If I say it enough, maybe one day even I’ll believe it.

_ General Alert _

Bly: Commander Wock, pweas tell us yowr secwets, inquiwing minds want to know

_ General Alert _

Cody: Marshal Commander Bly, please turn on your location, I’d like to talk.

  
  


[Lock has privately messaged Fox]

[Lock has sent Fox an attachment]

Fox: Thanks

Lock: Of course.

Lock: 1600 Coruscant Standard, Zhellday after next.

Fox: do you have any idea how difficult it is to schedule things during the hour of the day when senators start to get  _ bored. _

Lock: Sorry, truly. I sympathize - it was difficult to schedule on our end too. Best of luck, hope to see you, etc.

Fox: I’ll bribe my secretary. 

Lock: ?

Fox: He’s only allowed to accept bribes from me its fine

  
  


[Lock has privately messaged Bly]

Lock: Beer, tequila, vodka

Bly: beer’s probably the only one you can get away with putting on Republic credit outside of 79s

Bly: but if folks bring their own of whatever it’s fine, buir Skywalker seems like she’d be fine with that

Lock: Noted. Party games?

Bly: yes but nothing with sharp pieces trust me

Lock: Which ones are those?

Bly: fuck if i know, this is what shinies are for

Lock: Fair.

Lock: Okay, Luna suggested bean bag chairs. What are those?

Bly: lol okay so Aayla has like four of those in her office they’re basically huge-ass bags filled with beans or polycotton fluff or whatever and you sit on them

Bly: fun? Absolutely.

Lock: Essential, probably not.

Lock: I’ll see if I can tuck one or two in the request form anyways

Bly: atta vod

Lock: Aw, thanks. Get fucked, brother.

Bly: bold of you to assume I’m not already

Lock: I knew I should’ve asked Cody.

Bly: gASP

Bly: what else did your boys ask for for their First Sanctioned Party

Lock: Highlights of my inbox include 6 barrels of Tibanna fuel, gizka (live), a floor-height semi-autonomous cleaning droid, knives, duct tape, Cad Bane’s hat, and an autograph from General Skywalker (Rex’s, not mine).

Bly: that’s tame compared to some of the stuff Torrent’s asked for

Bly: which officially I know nothing about

Lock: One day, all of you will realize that telling me about your  _ barely _ reg-adjacent activities still gives me active heartburn.

Bly: sorry not sorry?

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Checking in after the joining engagement between General Skywalker and Skywalker on Tarsus IV. The battle was ultimately successful, and control of the system has been restored to the colonists.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: General Anakin Skywalker is overseeing the reconstruction of adequate filtration systems for the airborne fungus that devastated the local food supply. General Shmi Skywalker is actively negotiating a more permanent agreement of ceasefire and trade between the colonists and the natives in light of the governor’s untimely arrest. 

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Speaking of the arrest, Rex punched him in the face, and now has three nat-born adolescents ready to enlist in the GAR. They’re following him around like tooka kits. He’s  _ this close _ to submitting paperwork.

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: Sounds like Rex

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: That one’s a serial adopter

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: No idea where he got it from

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: total mystery

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: It’s genetic, actually.

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: I see it’s once again bully Rex’ika hours.

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: Rex’ika?

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: fuck

_ Priority Alert _

Ponds: ONE OF US

_ Priority Alert _

Bly: ONE OF US

_ Priority Alert _

Wolffe: ONE OF US

_ Priority Alert _

Cody: … it is done.

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: OVERRULED

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: Lock do NOT leave me to this madhouse

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: The vod’e have spoken, brother.

_ Priority Alert _

Fox: You’re all dead to me

_ Priority Alert _

Rex: SECONDED

_ Priority Alert _

Lock: Wow.

_ “All right. Looks like we’re up and running, connections are stable across the… board… minor Force miracle that, I owe the boys down in Communications half a case of Alderaanian brandy. Uh, it’s great to see old faces and new ones this lovely afternoon floating through the void. In deference to the new, why don’t we do some quick introductions. Name, unit, and favorite holonovel, remember that rank is for people who are on-duty. I’ll go first, I’m Siolo of the 144th Legion, Valath Company, and I’ve really been getting into this Mando poetry anthology by Troya Wren.” _

_ “I’m Moonwalk, 104th, Nebula Company. The medical staff is working through a couple of instructional yoga holonovels that General Plo copied from the Jedi Archives for us. Completely legally.” _

_ “Ticktock, 41st, Demolitions Brigade. I got my hands on a set of advanced chemistry textbooks from a Coruscanti university. The boys and I are trying to make fireworks for Commander Offee’s seventeenth nameday. We wanna get that signature green, you know?” _

_ “Lock, 144th. Basilisk Company. I’ve been reading some of the early works of Bleys Harand. Corellian historian. Bit of a rebel. His thesis was on the role of the Hutt campaigns through the Tion system in modern-day cultural practices and celebrations.” _

_ “... Fox. Coruscant Guard, Central Precinct. I. Uh. Don’t really get the chance to read much. Except maybe senatorial briefings. Hah. My SiC told me I needed a hobby, so. Classics. Didn’t seem like the worst place to start.” _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw Rex in front of a bus to get Lock adopted. No regrets.
> 
> I like to imagine that Lock is the sort of brother who really does mind his own business, but listens in on the chat so that he can poke his head in to deliver a delightfully scathing one-liner and then vanish back into the void of Being Responsible.
> 
> Serving under Shmi has, for the first time, given Lock the opportunity to openly care for his men. I would imagine he doesn’t quite know what to do with that at first, but with time and some brotherly advice, he figures it out.
> 
> The urge to hassle Rex is also genetic, in case you were wondering.

**Author's Note:**

> This work was also inspired by the Soft Wars AU by Project0506 on Ao3 (@thefoundationproject on Tumblr), but I couldn't figure out how to add a second Inspiration link so you get this instead.


End file.
